Cast All Your Anxiety

So next week I leave for Hume (the high school christian camp the church goes to), and I am honestly worried. This is not only because I have social anxiety, but because last year my experience was pretty bad. Now, that's not to say I didn't have any fun, because I did. Mostly what was bad was the fact that I had a panic attack the first day there, and was close to a panic attack every time I had to wait for chapel. That was because the crowds there are huge. And I do not do well in big, packed crowds. I'm hoping this year, since I've been getting better, I can actually have fun and be normal. On top of that, the campus is huge and it's really easy to lose people among other people, especially if they like to wander. For me that is terrifying because I always need someone to latch onto/follow around (I know, pathetic). So if I lose the person I'm with, I immediately panic. Another reason I'm worried is because I get really overwhelmed when I'm presented with a bunch of information that I don't know what to do with. So basically I end up either not absorbing any of it or forgetting most of it.
But here's the thing about going a second time. I know the layout of the campus now, so I won't get lost, and I won't need to latch onto people. I've been accomplishing a lot with being around people, so I know how to stay calm in crowds. I'm working on absorbing information, and how to take it all in without getting overwhelmed. Hume isn't bad in any way. It is actually incredible and fun and enlightening. Now that I know what I'm doing, I can have a good experience. Not to mention I know that I need this and that God wants me to go. That is what is calming my fear. That is what is making me excited for Hume, instead of worried. I can't wait to see what God has to show me and get closer to Him. And I can't wait to help my friends in their walk with God. I don't know what will happen or if things will be different, but I'm confident in my faith that this experience will be incredible.

"He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken" -Psalm 62:6